**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
