My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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