The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
