I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
