I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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