Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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