In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
