Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We had sex on a dog bed..
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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