Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
