I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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