Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
