Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
as a side note pls kill me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
