I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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