Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize