I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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