my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have already put on my inside pants.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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