The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
