im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
