my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
