I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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