The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
