Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
