Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
