some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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