Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
