***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My feet surprised me
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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