let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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