I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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