if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Let's get the cat blown out
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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