Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
