i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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