What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize