Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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