Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
