garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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