My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize