make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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