sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
