so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
