i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
