I don't usually arrange sex via text message
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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