Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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