We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
