Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
