just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
