Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
