I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
