i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
