He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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