dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize