Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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