i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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