Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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