I'm really into asian looking animals
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
