His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
