Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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