I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the condom got lost in my hair
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
