I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize