do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize