hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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