hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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