After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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