Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
