Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
