I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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