Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
