is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
