is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
