I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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