She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I want to have your abortion
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
